FRUSTRATED!!!

Well it has been over a month since I last saw my surgeon and we are still trying to get my insurance to cover a CT Scan, that so far they have denied over 3 times. I am really losing my patience, because I don't feel better, I do in some ways and do not at all in others.

I still can't function without pain pills, I still take them daily. I have little to no energy at all, even if I sleep for 10 hours. The pain in my groin still hurts and throbs daily, because of Sandy, my usual doctors appointments are thrown all out of whack and I will not get in to see them until December 4th.

I feel like a total and complete mess.

My younger brother bruised his spleen and was in the hospital this weekend in severe pain and he goes "Tammy I think I got a glimpse of how you feel every day this is the worst pain I have ever had, I don't know how you do it."

That made me feel a little better that he had some way of feeling the pain, not that I want him to be in pain, but either way it is so hard to describe to someone unless they have experienced extreme pain.

So the holidays are officially here, I made it through Thanksgiving I spent it here with friends, I decided not to travel. I will be traveling for Christmas so that is a whole new ball game and something I haven't done since the surgery.

I need strength and someday's I just don't know where I am going to get it from.

I will say I did have a great time going to the movies and doing some shopping with friends over the Holiday. One thing I have to be Thankful for is friends to lift me up when I am not doing so well and my health although it is not great, it is a little better than a year ago, so all I can do is continue to try and get better.

Time just flies by

I can't believe it has been almost a month since I have posted. The first part of November was crazy because I was running and event and helping out with the election. My body still has yet to recover from all of this.

I constantly tired, I don't feel like I ever get enough sleep part of that may be my medication though as well. Either way I am trying to do as much as I can to have a life.  I have healed more from the surgery but the incisions still hurt pretty bad. I have cream I have to rub on them twice a day, but they still hurt. The doctor said that I am doing alright, but this is going to be a six month recovery.

I also haven't seen my doctor for treatments for over a month now and my body is paying for it for sure. Hurricane Sandy made them cancel my last appointment and I have not been able to get in since. I have another two weeks to wait. Hopefully they go by quickly.

I am waiting to get a CT Scan approved through my insurance (who has denied it twice) to see what else is going on inside my body before we elect for another surgery. Hopefully I will know more on that next week.

I had one day this week that my pain was just excruciating and nothing got rid of it, I was so down because of it.

Today is Thanksgiving and I decided I did not want to travel so I stayed here and some very nice friends invited me over to their house to join them and their family for Thanksgiving dinner. When we all went around to say what we were thankful for, I said that I am thankful I am getting better and that I have such great people surrounding me.

The one thing I have learned through this whole process since August 2011, is you really learn who your friends are and who you can count on. Sometimes people just surprise you.

So as I sit here being lazy and not wanting to move, I may go to the bar for some human interaction for a bit even though I am still in a food coma from this afternoon.