I need to post more

It has been over a month since I have last posted and boy so much has happened in that time period.

• I moved into my own apartment: packing, moving, unpacking was so hard. I am still not unpacked because I just don't have the energy to do it. 
• I had to start back to work, which takes all of my energy, I am lucky to make it through the day sometimes.
• I have been going for weekly testing to find out what is wrong with me. Oh wait, I mean try to find out what is wrong with me, because so far we have been unsuccessful at finding this out. By we, I mean me and the team of doctors.
• My niece Isabella was born, she is pretty darn cute and happened to arrive the only time her aunt was in Western PA all summer. Great timing kid!
• I went to the only wedding I could all summer, the one that I was in. That was after a month of pretty torturous therapy. 
• I still don't trust myself to drive long distances alone.
• The medicines just keep getting piled on, not taken off.
• I still feel horrible.... daily.
• The feeling of not being able to feel your feet and feel like they have a million pins and needles going through them is one of the worst feelings int he world.
• My surgeon has my best interest at heart, but I wish they didn't involve more shocking and more needles oh yeah and MRI's.
• I would love to wear a pair of jeans again.
• I just want to be normal... I want to be me.

I have officially passed 2 years of this misery that my body has been subjected too. I have seen countless doctors, I don't want to even know the amount of money I have paid out, or the amount of times I have been pricked by a needle. Honestly now it just feels like every day life and that makes me sick. I want to be a normal 31 year old who can go out and have fun and not have to feel like I feel every day. Knowing that moving 1 box is going to put me into such pain I won't be able to move.

I mean when the doctors told me I may have MS all I wanted to do was cry, every time they touch me I cry. That is no way to go through your life. I want to be happy again.

So tonight I go in for a sleep study and tomorrow I head in for a brain and spine MRI. None of which I am looking forward to, but I need both of them. I am not sure how they think you are suppose to sleep well with a bunch of little electrodes hooked up to you and people staring at you, but I guess I will give it a try.