So after returning home from the DC area on Friday evening, I really felt like things were hitting me really hard and that I was honestly all alone. I know that is not necessarily the case, but it is how you feel when you are depressed.
I did run a few errands on Saturday morning that I had to do and then I came home and literally laid in bed for hours. I was able to talk to my best friend for a bit which helped me think through things a little bit. I just honestly wanted to cry every time I thought about what was going on and what I need to get prepared for.
I even asked the pharmacist when I should bring everything in to get filled. I just feel so overwhelmed from top to bottom at this point and I almost feel like I don't know which way is up.
Last night I made myself leave the house and go to dinner, but I went alone and if nothing else had a great meal before coming home to watch TV and try and calm myself down without crying again.
Today was a little bit of the same. I went to church and then hit up the movie theater to see Batman, which was awesome, I wish I would have seen it earlier.
So a lot to get done this week and figured out at work, I don't even know where to start that and I think that is a huge point of anxiety for me right now.
So my biggest thought this weekend is how much depression sucks. I know I am taking medications to help, but I can say that I know for sure what I am experiencing is not helping to get me out of this hole I have fallen into. I can only hope that as my pain gets better and my quality of life gets better, so will this.
Always remember the people you see out may look normal but you never know what may be going on with them, so be kind.
Anyhow time to try and get some rest.
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