We may have caught a break

Well although this week has been pretty miserable and humid and hot... I think this morning we may have actually hit a breakthrough.

I went in to see my surgeon and the lab results came back from when he took out the drains last week, and it actually gave us the names of three bacteria that are in my leg causing this problem. So I have been on one broad-spectrum IV antibiotic and one oral antibiotic. Well the oral one is one I need to take care of this and now we are going to have to get the IV antibiotic switched. So I go to see the infectious disease doctor tomorrow.

I really hope this helps to give us the turning point so that the infection can actually be out of my body. I have been on antibiotics for just under two months with no luck and them fully fixing the problem.

This week has been so bad. I have been exhausted, I have had 3 night where I literally did not sleep at all. When you are trying to fight off an infection and your body has been at it for so long, sleep is truly something you need a lot of. My pain level has also spiked quite a bit the past few days. I feel like I am being stabbed over and over again.

So once the infection is gone and the swelling in my leg goes down, I can begin the next steps in the recovery process. Which means: PT, regular medicine schedule, going out and having a little more fun, trying to lift my spirits and hopefully sleep better and more.

So although I was hoping to be home today, I will take knowing that we finally have lab results in that are going to get us results. It may take a few weeks, but it will happen.

One thing I can say and I already knew this but I had never really experienced this myself. Is that infections are mean, ugly monsters that really try and ruin everything inside of you. They may stay in one spot, but they as a succubus for lack of a better term.  So for now I am not going to start jumping around in celebration just yet, because I know it will take time for the meds to work and for me to start seeing a difference.

I am ready for this to start turning around.

And you know you have a problem when...

ALL YOU DO IS GO TO THE DOCTORS!

You know I have gotten use to the whole weekly or bi-weekly treatments I was getting. Right now those days are long gone until this infection takes a hike up the river.

I went to the infectious disease doctor today and they took some samples and decided that I am still staying on IV antibiotics for another 7-10 days along with the other antibiotics that I am on.

Right now I am so sick of medicine. I fall asleep for no reason during the day, everything hurts and makes everything else worse.

I feel like I really do live in a hole, one that I can't crawl out of. I want to cry all of the time, because everything is so dam overwhelming.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I have no social life and all of my friends well I only get to see them if I am visiting for doctors appointments. I am not fully sure the last time I really went out and had a good time. I am worried about not being able to go to a very close friends wedding in a few weeks, because I cannot fly to get there. I want an escape from what has turned into my reality.

These past two years have been a literal hell for me. I know that at some point I will catch a break, and they always say you hit your break when you are at your all time low. Well I am at that all time low and I am reaching as far as I can to get out.

Now there are a few things that make me different where people can see something is wrong on the outside: the pain in my face, my walking cane for balance and the PICC line in my right arm.

Disability takes on many forms and this is mine: chronic severe pelvic pain coupled with a horrible infection in my left leg right now. Along with numerous other things including very severe depression.