Epic Fail so far this moring

We all know Monday's can be a bit of a drag, well especially after that loss the Steelers had last night, no I am not yet over it. That is ok we will get them back.

Anyhow so off to work today, this is my last week before I head in for surgery so a lot needs to get accomplished. 

As I sit here in pain I realize that I forgot to pack my pain pills, so there is my epic fail of the day so far. I can't believe I did that. So ibuprofen it is for me for the day I guess, which won't touch me at all.

Now someday's I really wish what makes me feel worse, because I haven't really been able to figure that out just yet but I really hope that this surgery helps me with the pain levels. 

I sent an email into my local news station this weekend, hoping to get them to run on health segment on IC, I will follow up with them here this week, awareness is key! 

That is all for now... back to work as I have a lot to get done.

Also my reports are back and it looks like all of my test done last week to be cleared for surgery are good to go.

Today is that BAD pain day

So I woke up this morning at 5 a.m. in horrible pain. I got up and went to the bathroom and then laid back in bed and grabbed onto my pillows.

The odd thing my pain was on my right side which is highly unusual for me. Either way it has yet to be a good morning. I took all of my medications including a full dose of pain medication this morning, after I got out of the shower I had to lay down with my heating pad before getting ready for work. Thank God I can wear sweatpants to work, so I threw on my Under Armour Gear and walked out the door, if nothing else I look stylish, in black and yellow.

So here I sit attempting to get work done, with a heating pad and my Empi unit on trying to drive my pain down. This is just the worst feeling ever. It probably does not help that my stress level has been bad lately. Trying to coordinate this surgery is just so hard, but I know that my body needs it.

Yes, I realize it is only going to fix one part of my probably but if I can get my pain to more manageable levels I feel like I can be my  normal self again.

I would give anything to feel normal again...

Tentative Surgery Date...

I went to DC to see the nerve specialist on Friday, I knew that I was going down to get a consultation for surgery, but the whole thing ht me a lot harder than I anticipated.

I have never in my life had two surgeries in one year, these are placed six months apart. So I am getting ready to figure out how to transplant my life for a little bit. I have to take two weeks off of work, which I don't have to take off due to all of the medical issues this year.

So the surgeon is talking about a 2 1/2 hour surgery that will be removing/displacing three of my nerves in my pelvis, this will take away the pain once I am healed, but will involve quite a bit of pain during recovery. These are sensory nerves so they can be taken out without effecting movement in my leg.

The doctor is unsure if I will need another surgery at this point to hep with other nerves but it is possible.

So I will be staying down in DC for about a week once I have the surgery incase I have any complications. Either way this is not exactly what I thought I would be, all I can do is hope that it allows me to lead a more normal life than I currently am.

I had a good bit of an anxiety attack after leaving the doctors and on the drive home last night. Today hasn't been much better, but I am just trying to make it.

So as of right now September 18th is the date.

More Travel

The past few weeks have been crazy and unfortunately I have not had a chance to blog much. I will say my body does not take travel as well as it use to that is for sure.

I got back from Florida on August 8th, had my normal doctor appointments on the 13th and 15th and then headed to New Orleans for a conference on the 16th.

I have always pushed myself too much and I know that I do it, but I really enjoy having fun and meeting new people. So I have to say this past weekend was an absolute blast, but my body needs some serious recovery time.

On Saturday I hit a very high pain day, so bad it was going almost the whole way down my leg which was just miserable, it literally made me sick.  The only saving grace I had was the fact that I had my portable Empi Unit with me to help relieve some of the pain, now the bigger issue is getting my insurace to keep paying for that because right now they are only giving me 2 months with it.

I don't want to get started on health care and insurance becuase I am lucky to have coverage but when you have a serious problem that will not go away and they have the ability to completely limit the type of care that you can get is just so disheartening and honestly just adds to the depression (not to mention the amount of money I am paying). I mean what do I do when I don't have coverage for physical therapy any more or I can't keep my unit to help me control my pain? Thinking about it makes me want to cry so I try not to, but at some point I fully have to address this... I don't know when I have the time.

Did I mention I really just want to be a normal 30 year old... whatever that is exactly.

Hi my name is Tammy, I am 30 years old and...

I have officially been diagnosed with numerous problems, which are easier explained by saying that I have severe chronic pelvic pain.

Yes on the outside I look normal, but the internal fight that my body started with itself in August 2011 is taking a very heavy toll on me as a person.

I have become less outgoing and more introverted over the past year which is not me at all. I have distanced myself from many who were close to me and I am still trying to figure this all out for myself. So this blog will be my journey through this pain and will hopefully help me to open up about my diagnosis and allow me to break through the dark cloud that has taken over me.

In going through this process I have found it extremely difficult to talk to people about it, because I feel that no one can truly understand the emotions going on inside of me and the immense pain that I deal with on a daily basis. I have also felt extremely alone... nothing I can do or change to make that better at this point.

So, as I continue to go through the process of appointments and all other treatments that my doctors feel are necessary I will share what I can and hopefully be able to straighten this out and at some point feel "normal" again... whatever "normal" really is.